Thursday, October 30, 2008

If you want to destroy my sweater....

On second thought, please don't destroy my sweater. Then my child will have to roam naked.

P.S. Isn't our wood paneling sexy?

A Crying Shame

Today I had my 39 week appointment. My doctor told me a couple of weeks ago that if I was ready at 39 weeks, she'd scrape my membranes and give me a 50% chance of going into labor while she's on call (I love my doctor. I don't want some stranger pulling out my kid.). Oh such false hope was built into me! Built into this very day! I should have known better.

She found my baby's heart with the doppler and did a little dance to the beat. His heart makes me want to dance, too, but I'm afraid I just might fall if I tried. She measured my grossly distended belly and declared his growth to be perfect. She felt around my baby's shape and said he'd probably be seven lbs and some change. And then she did my internal exam. And I am still 1 cm, although it is an "easy" 1 cm now. Two weeks ago I guess it was a difficult 1 cm. And my cervix has moved farther down still and is easier to reach. "Next week, you'll have this baby," she said. I will not lie to you. I cried. I tried not to, but I did. I really want to have this baby right now. *sigh* My doctor is so nice. She gave me some tissues and kind, sympathetic words. "You've fought so hard to get to where you are, and now you just have to fight just a little bit more. This part of your baby's life is such a short time." And she also told me to get more sleep. I must be looking extra haggard today because the nurse also asked me how I was sleeping. The answer is: not very well. I toss and turn a lot (with Herculean effort these days) and wake up with hip pain often, not to mention the several times a night I pull my whale body out of bed to go pee.

Pregnancy has not treated me badly in comparison to what it could be. However, I have yet to meet anyone who enjoys these last few weeks. My bones feel like they're going to fall apart. The weight of my baby pulls down on my stomach and makes me ache when I walk. My back begins to explode in angry furor after standing and making dinner (or cleaning or whatever else I do while standing) for only ten minutes. Making apple pie filling is difficult because of this. By the way, Mom, I'm going to enlist your help in making apple pie filling before all my apples go bad. I'll pay you with a baby (but you don't get to take him home... sorry).

I've prayed about it, and I've thought about it, and I've decided I just can't be butthurt about my baby taking the time he needs to get ready for his grand entrance into the world. This time is very hard, but I have to do it anyway; I may as well be optimistic and more cheerful. On the bright side, I still have time to finish the sweater I'm making. All I have to do is sew up the sides and attach the little collar. I'm getting a little better at staying on task with my knitting. I've only been working on this sweater for about three weeks and it's just about done. Now I just have to start on all those receiving blankets...

Monday, October 27, 2008

I didn't really mean to announce that I'm full term and then run away for two weeks, so people could scratch their heads wondering if I had given birth or if I had been eaten by gila monsters in the dry heat of the desert (heh heh, suckers). Well, neither has happened, and I am wishing for one of them with all my heart. Guess which one?

Also, I feel like I should be constantly singing Weird Al Yankovic's parody of Michael Jackson's Bad. I guess I didn't realize that once my kid dropped, he would keep dropping. So now I have this weird pouch gut that resides mainly below my belly button. And I thought I had a front butt before. I can't help but laugh when I see it in the mirror and dance around. I think this kid is great. But it really is time for him to come out now. My mom told me this time would come. This is the time when I don't care how it happens, I just want him out. And also, I need some snuggling from this kid. I need to kiss his cheeks and be a mama.

Sorry I don't have more to offer at this point in time, but the child consumes all thought. And in turn, I consume everything else. Like homemade mac and cheese and fried chicken. Could life get any better? Well, I guess it could have been better if I hadn't been the one who cooked it, but it was totally worth it. Delicious evil cheese....

Updated to add: At Eve's request, I had my husband take the latest picture. Please ignore the tiny spots of delicious chicken oil that popped onto my shirt as I cooked (I swear that's how it got there (I do realize I look and sound like a slob...)). We also took one with my shirt pulled up, and while it gives me a hearty laugh to look at it, I do not want to share it with the internets. Sorry.

I'm pointing at my belly button to give you an idea of how far down he's gone. Obviously he has not dropped far enough because I'm not cradling him and giving you a thumbs up sign...

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Full term! Holla!

It's official. I've made it to the final stretch (no pun intended) with baby and mom intact. Well, I'm mostly still intact. However, my shirts are starting up with an annoying habit of popping up and rolling up my belly. And you know why? This baby has dropped! I've been suspecting it for the past several days, and my doctor mentioned it today while she was poking around my belly. I didn't even remember to ask how many centimeters my uterus is measuring. I was at 40 cm last week. 40 cm = 40 weeks. He's a big boy now.

So now, I have a huge mass in the bottom of my stomach composed of baby, but it also kind of makes me feel like I have a front butt. Eh, whatever. It's a baby front butt. And here's the obligatory picture.

Also in baby news, I was given two baby showers last week. One was at work, and it was a big surprise. It was so nice. I didn't really want a shower at work because so many people are being laid off (yeah, like this Friday soon), and I didn't want anyone to feel like they needed to buy me anything. But a co-worker of mine asked around and decided that people are awesome (which, holy crap, they totally are), and then she made a surprise out of it, and I didn't suspect a thing.
And then, a good friend of mine and another friend of ours threw me another shower on Saturday and invited tons of people from my ward. I'm seriously floored by the generosity of all the people in my life. I counted up all the folks I need to write thank you notes to, and there are 38 people total. Wow. I didn't even know I knew 38 people (okay, that's a lie, but 38 is a lot of people to a recluse like me). I just can't believe that many people would be so thoughtful to give something to my baby. I'm so grateful, and so very lucky to have such good friends.

And now I'll wrap this up because I'm racing Blogger to their scheduled outage, and I want to post this before it happens. Hopefully, I'll write more soon. The sleepy is only getting worse...

Friday, October 03, 2008

I stayed home sick today. It makes me so very very grumpy. I hate being sick, and I would rather be at work. Most disappointingly, I don't have any knit projects going right now. Yarn has been ordered to remedy the situation, but it has not yet been received. Very disappointing indeed. It's not like I'm empty handed, though. I have 8 receiving blankets to make, a serger to learn how to use, and a quilt I still haven't finished. I just crave the knitting. And while I would rather be doing any of these things instead of being at work, I don't want to be sick while doing them because it sucks. I just want to lie around. Very Pregnant + Sickie = Very Very Sleepy All The Time.Anyway, I did mention that I knitted some items for my kid (didn't I?). Here they are, and they took all of less than a week to finish. It would have only been two days, but a girl just can't spend all her time doing everything she likes, can she? And look at how tiny the hat is! I'll be taking more yarn to the hospital with me, in case it doesn't fit Ben's head. Luckily, the hat took a matter of only two to three hours to work up, so I should be able to make a bigger one for him relatively quickly.

We had our last childbirthing class this week. At the beginning of the class (it was once a week for four weeks), I felt like four weeks would feel like forever, but it just flew by. The actual classes felt really long, though. Well, we actually have one more class that I signed us up for, and it's one specifically for more relaxation techniques for a natural childbirth. I'm planning on going without pain meds, but I do also realize that sometimes labor just doesn't play out like you planned it to. So, I have to be flexible, but ideally, I'm going to be a bit granola about it. Since before I even got pregnant, I've felt that nothing about this whole conception thing has been natural (well, because it hasn't), so I really want to try and do this part with as little medical intervention as possible. Which isn't to say, I'm going to go find a tree branch to hang on to while I squat the baby out. I mean, I am using an OB in a hospital, so what will be will be, but I hope you catch the point of what I'm trying to say.

We're still not ready for a baby to arrive. His bed is not set up. His clothes are not unpacked and put away (clothing courtesy of Eve; I have not even had my baby shower yet, but I have an entire 0-3 month wardrobe thanks to my wonderful sister! :) ). My bedroom is not arranged the way I want it. My kitchen is not arranged the way I want it (like my kid is really going to care how the kitchen is set up, right?), and in general, our home is just not ready for this baby. But I'm pretty sure we are. I'm excited. Chris is excited. This kid keeps getting bigger and bigger and I just want to cuddle him and pinch his chubby cheeks. Because they are chubby. Seriously. How could the two of us not have an adorable pinchably chubby cheeked baby?

I can't wait to meet our kid. I know he'll probably cry a lot and poop a lot and pee a lot and poop and pee on me a lot, but I'm cool with that as long as he gets the pooping and peeing on me out of his system in his early years. I know that having a newborn will completely change our life and our routines, although at this point, I know that I can't even comprehend what a huge change it will be. But I'm already so in love with this kid that I'm willing to do this happily. And I'm so grateful that I have a husband who's ready to be a dad.

On an unrelated to baby, but completely related to pregnancy note: I had a dream the other night that I went to a pizza stand, and the guy in front of me took the exact slice of pizza that I wanted and he did it on purpose. There were none left, and I sunk my head onto the counter and cried. It still makes me laugh to think that my hormones and cravings can influence me so profoundly even in my dreams.