Ringing in the New Year

Thankfully, New Year's is not quite as bad without Chris around.  I'm doing what he and I would be doing anyway.  You know, just sitting around.  Granted, it would be much nicer if we could do this together, but I'm not as sad about it as I was about Christmas.  I'm looking forward to the new year, so I've got that going for me.  We actually had a New Year's party last year.  It was really fun and all, but it was a lot of freakin' work.  And also, a lot of tired kids.  But the food was good.  I made a bunch of southern food.  It's tradition in the south to have collard greens and black eyed peas for good luck for the new year.  Well, I didn't actually make the black eyed peas, but I made collard greens (and they were actually good!) and a bunch of other delicious greasy fattening food.  I'm thinking I might make all of that yummy stuff when my brother comes up to visit with my mom in tow in a couple of weeks.  I have hambones from Christmas that need to be used.  Don't worry, they're frozen.

Speaking of frozen, it's been so incredibly cold here lately.  I think it stayed in the twenties all day today.  It's killing me!  Our house is kind of old.  I mean, not really old, but it was built in the 60's, so it could use a whole lot of upgrades.  Our windows are all original, which means they're crap.  Our furnace is also original, which means it is pretty much the crappiest.  We also have a wood stove in the basement, which is original, but surprisingly not crap at all.  So I heat the house at night with a fire.  Because Idaho is the last frontier, I guess.

I never knew there was anyone left who actually heated their home with a wood stove by choice until I came to Idaho.  My in laws don't even have central heating, but their stove is huge and it heats their house easily.  They also cut down their own wood on their property and pay $5 for electricity in the winter.  Okay, so I'm guessing on their electric bill, but I'm sure it's not the awful amount that shows up on my bill every month.  Although, my sister has since told me her in laws use a wood stove to heat their home in the winter, and they live in Georgia.  But they also used to live in Idaho before they moved there, so maybe they got the idea from their frontier life out in the Idaho sticks.

Hey, look!  I'm huuuuuge!  With hopefully 7 weeks to go!

Anyway, wood heat is pretty nice, but it's getting harder for me to bring wood in from outside.  I only bring in an armful each night, maybe two if I start a fire earlier than usual.  I will probably have to start actually asking people for help soon.  You know, either that or do everything myself and go into labor.  I have such a hard time asking for and accepting help.  I'm not really sure why.  It's not like I'm cold calling folks and asking them to scrub my toilets with their tooth brushes.  So very many people have offered to help me in different ways, and I haven't taken many of the offers yet.  Well, I haven't needed to yet.  But that time is finally coming, and I have anxiety from it.  Like I said, I don't know why.  I really like helping people because I like how it makes me feel.  Why would I want to deny others of that?

Well, I must go tend to a choo choo crisis in the dining room now.

There's a choo choo crisis every five minutes in this house.  I'm not even exaggerating.

Yeah, it was awesome.... not.

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the hut (work with me here)

Nothing was stirring, except for Ben's butt

I had just gone to bed after setting out presents with care

In hopes that peaceful sleep would be the night's fare

Young Benji was sleeping, his bum poking straight up

His toots filled the air as he gripped his water cup

I slept a blissful hour or so, with dreams of delight

Imagining the morning scene after we'd awaken from night

When over in Ben's bed I heard a great splatter

I sprang from a dead sleep to see what was the matter

Away to fetch a diaper, I raced to the boy

Not expecting the explosion his gut had deployed

I lifted him up- I'd just change him as he slept

Unfortunately I discovered his jammies to be quite wet

I carried the sleeping boy at arms length to the bath

Hoping there would be nothing to trip over in my path

Ben woke as I stripped him of a poo filled sleeper

And rinsed him quickly in the tub before the water grew deeper

The middle of the night surprise bath filled him with cheer

I just prayed that more sleep might be near

Poo laundry was washing and the little boy clean

Snuggling me in new pjs with his eyes all agleam

I kissed his face and told him good night

Laid him in his bed and turned off the light

This story has no moral, but I attest to it's truth

Santa brought me nothing this Christmas except a big Benji poop.

Really, when stuff like that happens, you've got to laugh about it to stay sane, am I right?  And this seriously happened to me at about 2 am on Christmas morning in every detail, plus a bunch of other details that had no rhymes to go with them.  

Christmas morning was great.  Ben was happy and excited.  He loved everything he opened and immediately demanded that I remove it from its packaging so that he might play with it right then.  So it took a while to convince him to open all the presents.  I had been planning on hosting Christmas dinner, but seeing as how the plague saw fit to visit our home the night before, I apologetically canceled.  There are a lot of little ones in our family, and I didn't want any of Chris' sisters to have 2 am poosplosions either.  Meaning dealing with their kid's poosplosions, but I guess it would be unpleasant to be the one actually having the poosplosion, too.  Anyway, I digress.  I do that a lot.  I ended up being alone on Christmas, which made me kind of sad, but Ben was super happy and crazy about everything, so that helped.  

I cooked the hams I was planning on making for dinner because they were already thawed and they were from my in laws' farm (yum yum homegrown pig meats).  The ham was pretty much incredible.  Ben also really liked it.  He kept asking for pieces as I was cutting it up.  

I hope everyone had a great holiday.  I'm glad it's over because I don't have to be sad about it anymore.  I can just look forward to the babies being born and Chris being home for a couple of weeks and my mom coming out to stay for a while.  All good things coming up in just a short time.  It will be difficult and sleep depriving, but also doable.  I have lots of knitting I need to do for the babies, so that will be fun in the meantime.  And also decluttering the remaining rooms in my house that I haven't decluttered yet.  Which are three.  Well, maybe two and half is more like it.  I think if I talk about it enough, I might be able to nag myself into actually doing it.  Like, "Holy crap, Bekah, okay, I'll do it, just shut up about it already!"  I'm hoping it works out that way.  Although, I could just end up ignoring myself.  Meh.  

Happy Christmas!

So my last post was kind of whiny and sad.  Sorry about that.  I do think I'm afforded some mope time what with Chris gone and all, but I don't need to spread it around.  I'm healthy, all my kids are healthy, and I have a warm home.  I should concentrate more on the positives in my life.  Like babies.

I'll be 30 weeks tomorrow.  So far, I've had no complications whatsoever.  My dr worried briefly about my cervix, but an ultrasound showed it to be completely fine.  The babies were 2 lbs 7 oz and 2 lbs 8 oz at 27 1/2 weeks, so I think they're probably three lbs each or close to it now.  They move a lot, and I love feeling them move just as much as I loved feeling Ben move around when I was pregnant with him.  Although, I'm sure they will be a lot more painful than Ben was really soon.  I should really take a belly picture to post.  I'm so crazy huge.  I think I'm full term size now.  I've gained less than I gained with Ben, though.  I think I'll either gain the same amount as I did with Ben, or maybe a little bit more by the end of this pregnancy.  Most of the weight is in my belly this time, though, less in the flabby arms and double chin.  It's coming, though.  I'm sure of it. 

I'm pretty excited about tomorrow morning.  I made a video for Ben at Portable North Pole.  You fill out some questions and upload some pictures, and it gives you a personalized message from Santa.  Ben freaking loved it.  He squeals with delight every time he watches it.  And now he thinks that anyone with a white mustache is Santa.

Yeah, anyone.  I'm pretty sure he probably won't connect the dots between Santa and all the presents he's going to get tomorrow, but I'm still pretty excited.  Santa was a pretty exciting thing to me when I was little.  I can't wait to share that with Ben.  I also made a stocking for him because I couldn't find any to buy that I liked.  I found some pretty cute Christmas John Deere fabric and lined it with green fleece.  Ben liked it a lot because it has tractors on it.  The kid likes tractors.  He always has. 

Anyway, I should probably stop procrastinating now.  I'm throwing the Christmas dinner at my house tomorrow, so I need to tidy things up a bit before it gets too late.  And also start a fire.  I'm freezing. 

Merry Christmas (or whatever you happen to celebrate) and Happy New Year to you and yours!

A Sorta Kinda Christmas

The last Christmas I spent without Chris was our first one as a married man and wife.  I'm pretty sure most people know the story of how we got married 3 weeks before he ran away to Iraq the first time around.  I was living in GA with my family, and we had a crazy cross country trip of a wedding and semi-honeymoon.  That Christmas was also the last one I spent with my blood relatives. 

Since then, I've adopted the traditions of Chris' family.  My family doesn't really have many of those, short of eating delicious food all together, of course.  My family does food and togetherness more than anything else.  Not that we're a negligent bunch or anything.  I'm just the youngest of six, so when I got older, the kids part of Christmas (meaning the fun part, of course) went by the wayside.  When I married Chris, however, four of the five of his siblings were still minors living at home.  Which is really weird, now that I think about it.  All but one is out now and is or has been married and have children.  Anyway, I digress.  My point is they have traditions, and I've adopted them, or rather I have been adopted into them. 

I generally take change pretty well.  I've always been adaptable and just roll with it.  But this year, I'm realizing how much these traditions mean to me.  Since Chris is gone, I feel myself clinging to the familiarity of Christmas.  But it's also not quite the same this year, not only because of Chris, but because his parents and brother are living on the other side of the country until next summer.  Chris' other siblings and I are, of course, doing Christmas things together.  But it doesn't feel the same.  I feel lonely for a Christmas I know.  For a Christmas with my husband home with me.  For a Christmas together. 

He'll be home next Christmas.  And we'll have even more family by then.  I look forward to that.  But I also lament that he won't be home this year for Ben's first Christmas that he'll actually be aware that *something* is happening.  It's the most wonderful time of the year, but also the most difficult when you're the wife of a deployed soldier...