Worries...

I have a confession to make. I'm a huge worrier. I know, big shock, right? Anyway, I've been so worried lately about all the junk that's happening with our jobs right now. As you already know, my job is being outsourced. I still don't agree with the company's decision, but I've made my peace. Nothing is set in stone, but I think I'll have roughly until April or May before I'm severanced. If you read my husband's blog at all, you'll have seen that his job is also being affected by the current economy. Needless to say, it has been very stressful on both of us. I have never before been so grateful for a husband who doesn't want to fight about money. That's one thing we have going for us, I guess.
So, of course I'm worried about how we'll make ends meet when we have our baby. I'm worried because I know I'll probably have to work full time (well, I definitely will at least until I'm laid off), and it'll be so hard to take my little guy to day care every day. But I know I can do it because I have to. Besides, I know so many other mothers who have done the same thing and have just as much devotion to their children as I know I will have to mine. So I know it's possible, and I will live through it.
I'm worried the most about my husband, actually. I'm worried about all the pressure that is being placed on him to make more money. I hate it. I don't want him to have to get a job he doesn't like. I don't want him to be unhappy. That, in itself, stresses me to no end. I know that he'll do what he has to do for our family, but I hate the stress that comes with making those decisions. We make big decisions together, but this is about a job that I wouldn't have to go to every day and he would. And he would probably hate it. So I would feel guilty if I encouraged him to take a job he hated, but I would also feel guilty for forcing him to make the decision alone. And I would feel guilty if I discouraged him from taking the job, and then nothing else came along. Am I not ridiculous? Yes, I tend to be that way from time to time.

On a lighter note, let's talk about something else my dear, sweet husband did this weekend. He peed in my shower. I was minding my own business, shaving my legs in the shower, and here's Chris, just popping in for a pee! Okay, well, he did tease me that he was going to do it before hand, but I didn't think he actually would!! And thank goodness none of it got on me, because, oh! that would have definitely been tragic. But it's a good thing (for him) I was so grossed out because I later thought that I should have splashed his pee back on him. But blech. I couldn't have touched it.

And I know you've been waiting for it: My fat at 26 weeks.


Please forgive the super crappy picture. I didn't notice just how bad it was until I had already taken it off the memory card, and I'm way too lazy to do a retake. But feel free to compare to same shirt at 19 weeks.

My chest appears to be getting smaller and smaller in comparison...


Now my belly is balancing out my butt, at least. And I also look like a weird crazy zebra in this shirt. Luckily, I wore another shirt over it today.

I don't really have a lot going on right now. I just thought I'd show you some more of my fatness because people seem to like that. I know I do. I'm also finishing a super cute knitted dress for my niece Karli (FINALLY!!). I'll post a picture when I'm done.

Stank butt

I've been thinking about cutting costs lately. Babies are super expensive, as I think everyone who reads this blog already knows. So, I've been thinking about how to make the most of our income when Ben is born. Yeah, I really should have probably been thinking about this four months ago, but I'm pretty slow like that. I'm seriously looking into full time cloth diapering. There's a kind made by bumGenius that has expandable snaps enabling them to fit your child from newborn through potty training. There was a kid at a friend's baby shower recently who was wearing one, and his mom told us about them. She's due with another kid right before me, and she plans on diapering them with the same diapers. That is awesome.

Um, okay, they're pretty expensive, but even if I spent $400 on a buttload of them (no pun intended) and they would not only last through Ben but also through our next kid (and hopefully at least another one after), that would definitely be worth it, wouldn't it? I know it's extra laundry and everything, but even though time will be a precious commodity with a little one, money will be even less available when I'm on FMLA. Walmart has some clothies that are similar and about half as expensive. But I also read in the reviews that some people have had to buy twice as many because washing them wears them out so quickly. I like the bumGenius better. From the reviews, they seem to be more durable, and you get more for your money. Like I said, I know the extra laundry will be a pain, but cloth diapering these days is nothing like it used to be. I mean, if my brother can do it even part time, anyone can. He's lazy. Hehe, just kidding, Michael. I know Velvet takes care of all that. ;)

I wish I could be all noble and say I'm just doing it for the environment and all that, but I'm a penny pincher. I've got to save us some money. So, what do yall think?

Next step: convincing my husband that we should spend $400 on cloth diapers...

This has made my life complete

Well, for today, anyway. I've been cooking dinner every night, and reserving leftovers for lunches the next day to save some money (which has definitely been working). Because I only have a few recipes in my repertoire that I know by heart, I've had to seek out uncomplicated, healthful, delicious meals to cook every night. The healthful was added in the past week because I've gained way too much weight since my last doctor's visit (which my doctor was very nice about). Anyway, I found this recipe for Mediterranean Beef Stew with Rosemary over at Kalyn's Kitchen. I'm trying to do one at least crockpot meal a week, and this was it this week. Holy crap. It is so good. It would be even better with the mushrooms it calls for, but Chris isn't really a fan. I kind of like him, so I'm willing to sacrifice the mushrooms every once in a while. And if you don't like olives, you may not even notice them very much. Their taste is really toned down from cooking for 10 hours. Or you could just leave them out. (*cry) Anyway, Mom, you should really cook this because it'll be good for you. Very low carb, very diabetic mama friendly. And so very very easy and cheap. I also recommend that website for other recipes, too. Especially her low carb pancakes. They're so good.

I saw my OB today. Everything is good. I've gained weight, but I'm resolving to be better about my snacks (why do I always have to be SO HUNGRY?!). The baby is good and is measuring perfectly. Nothing eventful happened at this visit. Next visit, however, will be my gestational diabetes screening. Also, I get another ultrasound. Yay! On the ultrasound at my last visit, the doctor who did my review (my doc was on vacation) said he wanted me to have another u/s to make sure Ben's kidneys are working properly. They had some fluid in them, which could just mean Ben was making pee and it hadn't come out yet, but the dr said we should look again just in case. I'm really not worried about it, my doctor's really not worried about it, but hey, I get another Level 2 u/s my insurance will pay for because my doctor says it's medically necessary. Woot! I suppose it's also time to show you a picture of my belly. You also get to see my maternity pants that cover my belly. Chris calls them "my stretchy butt pants" because I have another pair of these that has the stretch panel going practically halfway down my butt. Don't worry, I wasn't seen in public like this. I only dress like this for the internet.

I just have a couple of thoughts that were rattling around in my head at work today. Why do people ask you constantly how you are feeling when you're pregnant? I'm not ill, I'm fat with baby. And I'm not going to complain about my aches and pains to someone who sees me in passing and asks, "Oh! How are you feeling?" and then rushes away. It's just so weird. It's only people who don't know me very well or hardly ever see me. Don't you think a more appropriate question would be, "How are you doing?" like every other non-gestating member of the population hears? I'm always so tempted to ask them how they are feeling, but I know it will come out sounding snotty and without concern. Because that's how I feel.

Also, on a completely unrelated note. Sometimes I question my state of consciousness, say, when I have just starting peeing. Actually, it's the only time I do it. I have to ask myself, "Am I asleep?" because I want to make sure I'm really awake and peeing in a toilet instead asleep and only peeing in a toilet in my dream. Please tell me someone else does this even once a year. Anyone?

What's in a name?

I've been lazy and eating too many cherries, so I haven't gotten around to this post yet. An update on the cherries: Chris and I have consumed about 4 1/2 lbs in about 3 days. Oh, the deliciousness.

Chris and I have had our official baby names picked out for at least a year, probably longer. The benefit to having so long to think about it is that we actually came to an agreement pretty far in advance of actually needing one. Well, we came to an agreement on two boy names and one girl name. Most of you know that Chris has a love for comic books, and he has for way longer than I've known him. So it's fitting that we give our kid a comic book name, isn't it?

We're naming him Benjamin Grimm after Chris' all time favorite super hero The Thing from the Fantastic Four. Believe it or not, it took me a little while to warm up to the idea. I love the name Benjamin, but I wasn't completely sold on Grimm being a middle name. I didn't want our kid to be traumatized by having a weird name. But then I recalled my childhood nickname, given to me by my sister Eve and brother Michael: Bekah big banana booty bottom with a big banana bulging belly, buck tooth bug eyes Bekah. It wasn't just a name, mind you. It was a gleeful song, chanted by the two of them all the way down our seemingly endless driveway to the bus stop. Needless to say, I didn't appreciate it then, but now it really blows me away at how creative they were. I mean, really. How do kids come up with that kind of stuff? It's hilarious. So, if my kid is going to have a terrible nickname, having a normal middle name isn't going to stop anyone from making something up. So I relented, and now I really love the name. And Mom, please make sure you're at the hospital with me, so Chris doesn't change our baby's name to Hulk Hogan on the birth certificate papers without me knowing. Thanks. :)

I should also add that Ben's initials are BGR. Ha! Booger. It makes me laugh.

Can you die from eating a pound of cherries?

I'm pretty sure I've eaten close to that many today. It's one of the best perks of living in Idaho in the summer. Bing cherries are the most delicious wonderful fruit. They make me so happy. There's an orchard in Emmett that takes orders in my office and delivers it to us in Boise. So that's nice. They also have the best cherries I've had from Emmett (there are a lot of orchards there). In a couple of months, they'll do the same with apples. I always get a 20 lb box and spend about a week making and freezing pie filling. Mmmmmm.......

Not much has been happening around here. Well, Chris got a sweet new ride. He's pretty excited about it. I'm okay with it because he's pretty much the safest driver I know. And I know he'll wear all of his protective gear every time he rides around on it. Right, honey?

All's well in baby growing land. He's been turned around and kicking me in the intestines for the past couple of days. It's really weird because it really feels like gas. I know they say that fetal movements tend to feel a lot like gas bubbles, but this is the first that it has felt like that. Before he felt like butterflies from being on a roller coaster. But man, my stomach is getting bigger. I feel like a house. I can only imagine what I'll feel like in two months. A Russian mosque maybe?

Things have been pretty boring around here, though. We've been getting our house ready for the baby, slowly but surely. I've been drinking my weight in water everyday to combat the relentless heat. Well, maybe not my weight, but 2 or 3 liters (67.6 to 101.4 oz). And I still wake up thirsty in the middle of the night. I'm lucky I like water so much, actually. Also, I'm so glad the last part of my pregnancy is in the fall. I already feel like I'm going to die in this heat, and I'm still in the "pleasant" trimester.

Anyway, happy Fourth, yall. May you have a good long weekend with copious amounts of everything you love.