Sunday, December 21, 2008

Could I buy a good night's sleep on eBay?

Wow. I think this child has colic in full force. The kind of colic where nothing is wrong with him, but he's crying his head off. We can't see where he might be in pain or anything. He just has this internal clock that goes off at about 3 or 4 in the morning, and he is completely inconsolable for about three hours. And we've tried everything. Swaddling, shushing, swinging, dancing, jiggling, rocking, singing, crying (that would be me), snuggling, and of course the obligatory diaper change and feeding. And nothing works. He's also very sleepy the entire time, and fights the sleep tooth(less?) and nail. I also had a friend suggest that perhaps he was just tired of being held. So I tried putting him down. Yeah, that didn't work either. You might think he was kept up too late, and he's overtired and crabby. But if he is already asleep (like he was last night), he will wake up at the appointed hour and start the crying. And then, at the second appointed hour (you know, three hours later), he magically closes his eyes and goes to sleep.

Now, this might not be so bad because I'm not working right now, except that I've been unable to sleep when he's sleeping. I've had insomnia pretty bad. And so by the time he's gone to sleep at the end of his crying jag, I'm so dead. It's only then that I finally sleep, and my brain wakes me up for the day about six hours later (I sleep with Ben so I barely have to wake up for him to nurse). I guess the only thing pulling us through is the promise that it will get better, which we've been told by pretty much everyone.

Unfortunately, this is all compounded by the baby blues that have not gone away. The baby blues that have only gotten worse (particularly with the lack of sleep). The baby blues that could now be considered postpartum depression. And it's pretty hard. I finally saw my doctor for my six week visit, and he prescribed some low dose estradiol for me. He's hoping that by upping my estrogen a little, it will pull me out of it. I'm hoping that, too. *sigh* It all just makes me very very tired.

I do enjoy Ben, though. During the day, he's a happy little guy. He smiles a lot and goos and likes to snuggle. I'm really glad that nursing is working out for us. The hormones that are released are probably pretty good for my emotional well being. I still love him at night when he's crying, too. I just wish I knew what to do to help him feel better. It breaks my heart that I can't help him, even if I know it's nothing personal. If anyone has any more ideas I haven't tried, feel free to throw it out there. I can't say I'll try absolutely anything, but I am definitely open to trying something I haven't before.


  1. I wish I lived closer. I would come and keep you company, or let you get some sleep. My head hurt reading this post and remembering how C would stay up till 3. And M would cry from 5-7 everyday. And I would cry. And it was miserable. If your state is anything like my state, then you aren't getting enough sunlight to help with those blues. Try to find some happy lights ro get enough UV. Try taking chamomile or catnip before you go to sleep. It can get to Ben through your milk. Make sure it's compatable with what your DR gave you though. Chamomile and catnip are both safe enough for little bitty guys. I'm so sorry you are suffering. It doesn't help you feel better to hear this, but it really DOES get better. James and I sleep through 95% of our nights now. You can DO it! I just typed that like Rob Schneider would say it. Sorry for the novel/comment. Love y'all.

  2. I don't know if you're willing to try it, as it is a pretty difficult diet to follow, but cutting out dairy for Lilli, and dairy and soy for tenzin, really made a huge difference. I'll find the link to some of the websites i got the info from so you can do some of your own reading. They say that if it is milk protein sensitivity, you should see a huge change in about 72 hours and feel like you have a completely different baby in about a week's time. you can always commit to a week, then if there is no change, then that isn't the problem. now i feel terrible for sending you that text about tenzin, i had no idea...

  3. Ugh. I'm sorry things are hard right now. Hopefully the extra estrogen will be just what you need.

  4. Does he sleep at an incline with his head higher? Like on a sleep positioner? He might be having some acid reflux that wakes him up.

    Or does he sleep swaddled and wiggle his arms out? Maybe he's waking himself up and it startles him?

    I'm sorry you're going through this. We're having another feeding battle this week and it has me at my wits end. But something Abby's speech therapist said always burns in my head "do your best to keep your emotions and frustrations in check because the baby can sense it and she will get frustrated or upset too."

    That's helped me to calm myself when I just want to scream and then after I've put her down or passed her off to dad, then I can go take a few moments to myself and re-focus...sometimes screaming into a pillow or just letting the water works come flooding is the only thing that helps.

    hang in there.

  5. I agree with the upright sleep. The only way Joseph could sleep for a while was upright in his bouncy chair. good luck!!