Wednesday, March 04, 2009

You should use a battle axe.

One very unfortunate side effect of working full time, feeding your family regularly, keeping the kitchen somewhat clean, and parenting a small baby is that my hygiene routinely suffers. I manage to brush my teeth and hair every day, but showers just don't always make it into my schedule. Sure, I know, there are at least hundreds of women who are able to do all this - and more(!), but I am not one of them.

Another, albeit marginally, unfortunate side effect of my sad bathing status is that the hair on my legs gets shaved maybe once or twice a month. So sad and gross. Why am I even telling you this? Because you're my friend, that's why. (Aren't you just so glad we're friends?) This is only embarrassing when my pant leg rides up when I'm crossing my legs. Lucky for me, I cross them all the time! I'm surprised no one has called the Sasquatch Gang, because BIG FOOT LIVES IN IDAHO AND SHE WILL EAT YOUR FAMILY! Also lucky for me, my secret is safe because no one has reported me- yet. I should also add that the last time I shaved my legs, I broke my last Intuition razor cartridge. You know that nice lotiony moisturizing bar that surrounds the razor? Gone. Broken by my porcupine leg hairs after its second use. I've still been using it to shave my armpits with copious amounts of Dove. What? Those cartridges are expensive. I've got to get my money's worth.

Anyway, I managed to get a shower today because my husband reminded me that I had planned on taking one (hint, HINT, stinky!). And I tackled the beast what lives on my lower extremities. With copious amounts of Dove because I forgot to buy more razor cartridges. I didn't even make it up to my knee caps because the hair was so long. I'm talking like a third of an inch or so. Again, sad and gross. You might ask me why I am telling you this. Well, I heard you needed to feel better about yourself, and since we're friends, I thought I'd oblige.

My last day at work is Friday, and I am so ready. I am tired of pumping my breasts four times a day like a dairy cow. I am tired of my sitter over-estimating how much Ben will eat and wasting my hard earned milk at the end of the day. I'm tired of sitting around at work with nothing to do. It's so boring, and I still have to act like I'm doing something, right? Most of all, I'm so tired of being away from my kid. I'm so glad it's almost Friday.

8 comments:

  1. Why are you telling us this?

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  2. No big deal! You know how some couples like to take showers together? That's exactly what Velvet and I don't do. For DAYS! And I think it's expected for women in Idaho to get a nice patch of hair on their legs in the winter. At least yours matches the "space" between your husbands eyebrows.

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  3. well the legs don't stop suffering as your kid grows older, as you know from rubbing my leg in the birthing room(sorry i;m making you sound creepy).but i'm happy you don't have to work after friday either. leaving guin every day was the hardest thing i've ever done. and plus we'll hopefully get to hang out more.

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  4. I sympathize totally with you! I hope the suggestions I made about the diaper blow-out works.

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  5. Rachel says "From your fellow Sasquash in Georgia. I tackled mine with the new Venus 5 blade last night. It worked wonders for the timber that would put the Redwood forest to shame. I thought I needed a bush hog. Maybe next time I'll call the Axe Men from the new cable show." And here is what your mother has to say....I thought taking fewer showers would help the drought here in Georgia and it does seem to be helping! Also I am lucky that there is not very much hair on my legs any more (thanks to age). What few there are get about an inch long before I cut them down. Rachel says I need it for warmth in the winter but I still stay about 5 degrees hotter than all around me! You are crazy making all of us talk about this to the world. Why are we telling everyone this?

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  6. Oh Bekah, I love your candidness! It will get better once your job is over. Then you'll have more Ben time and hopefully more Bekah time to shave and groom and smell purty. Thanks for the laugh! Love ya!

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  7. There is a Diane Graybeal in Boise. Here is the post... Diane Graybeal got a Certicate of Office for Lt. Governor of Zone 11.... This is in the Optimist club of Boise. Pretty funny huh?

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