Monday, September 13, 2010

Chris is home on pass.  He has today and tomorrow left.  Time just doesn't stop.  No matter how much I wish for it to stop or will it to stop with my mind ('cause, you know, the whole 'willing things to happen with your mind' totally works normally...), time completely disregards my desires.  For the past several months, time has been somewhat of an aggressor in my life- constantly pushing me forward, hurtling towards some unknown future.  Well, unknown except for the fact that I knew my husband would have to go, and that is what I've wanted to avoid.  I've been trying very hard not to think about his impending absence, but the day is almost here.  I can  no longer avoid confronting his departure.

It's been easy to hold it together, simply because I've been in a sort of denial of time.  There's always been more time, so I would make the best of it.  But now there is no more time.  Well, a day and a half.  I have him for a day and a half more.  My house will feel so lonely when he leaves.

P.S.  I disabled comments on this post because I'm not looking to have a pity party of any sort.  I know folks feel bad for me and wish that it didn't have to be this way, and I appreciate those good feelings from people.  I just wanted to express what I'm feeling right now.

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