They're doing so well. And so far, in comparison to Ben as a newborn, they're dream babies. Obviously, I'm still sleep deprived, and it's hard to get anything done. That's just how it is when you have a newborn or two. They go back and forth between sleeping well on their own and requiring arms to hold them while they sleep, but I think with practice they'll get better at sleeping on their own. I love holding them while they sleep, but necessity dictates that they will have to sleep out of arms sometimes. Ben still needs me very much. He's kind of a mama's boy.
I miss Chris so much. Having him home just felt so normal and right. Having him gone again is just really awful and difficult all over again. I feel desperate to have him home every day. It's good that we're still pretty crazy about each other after almost 8 years together. Man, I feel old. Anyway, I miss him. Ben misses him like crazy, too. He asks me about his Daddy all the time, and he mentions him in some way pretty much every day. He was pretty upset at the airport when Chris left. He pitched a huge fit, actually. Passersby were touched to see this little boy so sad that his dad was leaving. What they didn't know was that Ben was actually so crazed because he really really wanted to get on the airplane. He was completely freaking out about it. And it was really hard getting him back out of the airport because my incision was hurting so bad. I had to tell him we were going to ride the escalator. He perked up and got pretty happy about that. But he did realize that his dad wasn't with us on the way out, and then I was able to talk to him more about Chris leaving after he was calm.
It's been up and down. I wish time would speed up, so I could see Chris again. But I also want to savor the sweetness of these babies, too. It's so different this time around. I wonder why I ever thought having one newborn was hard. I think I'll have it made next time we have a kid. It will be easy peasy. Logan and Bruce are so different from one another. They already have different mannerisms, likes, and dislikes. Logan will suck happily on whatever you put in his mouth. Bruce shuns pacifiers, but will reluctantly take one if you offer it to him fifty million times. Logan watches Ben intently, looking like he's planning on trying out Ben's moves right after his next nap. Bruce just watches everything calmly. He's more mellow. He's also just a little bit bigger than Logan. I love my boys. Every one of them.
|A little hairy for a boob, but it'll work.|
|Put 'em up, wise guy!|
|1, 2, 3, baby fight club!|
|I wish I knew what they dream about when they sleep smile|
|Probably boobs. That's what they're usually thinking about when they're awake.|