So I haven't been around for a week. My grandmother passed away on March 15. Last Saturday was a flurry of trying to figure out how I would get out to Georgia. With spring break, flight tickets were ridiculously expensive. Even bereavement fares were really out of my price range. My brother managed to find someone back home who had buddy passes with Delta, so we were able to get pretty inexpensive tickets. I still had to drive down to Salt Lake to fly out, but it was still way cheaper.
Grandmother was my last surviving grandparent. Granddaddy Jack, her husband, passed away 7 years ago. They were married for over 50 years, and Grandmother really was never the same again. She developed Alzheimer's, and eventually she chose to live in an assisted living facility.
I have a lot of really good memories of both of them. We lived closer to them than my paternal grandparents, so we saw them often while I was growing up. Grandmother was the best cook, and she made the best spaghetti. I remember her letting me grate the cheese for it. Cheese was an important part of her sauce. I also remember how she always stood on her porch and waved to us as we pulled out of the driveway when we went home. I'll miss her a lot, but I'm so glad she can be back with her husband again. I know they both missed each other a lot.

In some happy news, Chris and I had our first look at our baby on Friday when I got back. The baby looks perfect! He/she is cute little nugget with a strong little heartbeat. I'm so excited! Actual size is 11mm.

Slosh, slosh, slosh

Check out my floatie baby to the side. Kind of creepy, huh? Heh, I can't believe how tiny this little bebeh is.
So I haven't been posting much since "the news" because I've been freakishly paranoid about every twinge and cramp I've been having. Luckily, no problems. In reality, I've just been farting a lot. I've told Chris that I have to fart or the baby will get sick. I don't think he believes me.
Everything seems to be going fine. I'm insanely exhausted. I've been sleeping a lot. I haven't really had much morning sickness yet. Occasionally I'll feel a bit queasy, but nothing dramatic. But I'm too far along yet either. I won't be surprised if I start heaving about a week from now. Oh, I also have an incessant need to pee. Like, every fifteen minutes at work.
I'm counting the days to our first ultrasound, and they are just going way. too. slow. March 19th we get to see that little heartbeat, and I can ease up a little on the miscarriage fear. I'm sure there will be plenty of other things to worry about in due time.
In other news, I still have about five different projects that are started and nowhere near finishing. I'm just so stinking tired when I get home. I mostly just want to sleep. Tonight, though, I'm going to see a movie. Chris is at drill this weekend (pppbbbbbbttttttt!!!), and I get to do the things that I want to do, but he doesn't necessarily want to do. I'm going to see Juno. My visiting teacher (a fellow infertile, coincidentally) says it was really good and really funny. I might make Chris watch it if I think he'll like it. I'm just hoping I don't fall asleep. I was going to go to an earlier show, but I was talking to my mom and figured that was more important. Anyway, I don't really have anything else to report. Good night, yall! I'll tell you how I liked the movie.

Im pretty sure most of you know...

Actually, I'm pretty sure all of you know. Unless, of course there's someone reading my blog that I don't know. Then maybe they wouldn't know... Anyway, the news is I'm pregnant! The statistics finally worked in our favor, and my sixth IUI worked! Holy crap!

It's my strict policy to never do home pregnancy tests before my beta. However, last Saturday night I fell asleep without taking my progesterone. Sunday morning I realized this, and I weighed whether or not I should just skip it or take it late (vag. suppositories are messy, and I still had to sit through church). So I decided I would test, and when it was negative, I could feel justified in skipping it. And then I saw this:

And in the subsequent days I saw this:

I realize they're pretty blurry, but the second lines can be seen on the left side. Needless to say, I took my progesterone immediately. Then I jumped up and down in the bathroom and kind of danced around a little. Chris was still asleep when I saw it, and I kept walking into the bedroom door and hovering, not wanting to wake him up, but really really wanting to wake him up. That lasted all of about three minutes, and I jumped into the bed. I tried to get him to come with me to see something "really important". If you didn't know, Chris is the master of all guessing, and he already knew what I wanted to show him. But it didn't make it any less exciting to tell him, by the way. He was also really excited, although he doesn't display excitement to the outside world. By the outside world, I mean anywhere outside of our house.
I also had blood tests done at my doctor's office. My first beta was 199 on 14 days past ovulation, and my second beta was 601 72 hours later, giving me a doubling time of about 45 hours, which is poi-fect! But of course, I'm still obsessed over the possibility of a miscarriage. I even had the most disturbing dream I can remember last night that centered around that fear. It was a symbolic dream, and there were no babies in it, but the theme was unmistakable. It woke me up, and I had to stay awake for a while because I couldn't stop thinking about it. Anyway, I know the probability of carrying a healthy baby to term is better than anything else. It's just still so hard not to think about because it would be so heartbreaking. We get to see the heartbeat at my seven week appointment, which seems eons away. We also get to see whether or not we have twins. So I just have to try my best not to think about it and celebrate the happy things (of which there are so many right now!).
So that pretty much brings us up to date. Apparently my intuition is not very good because I was just completely sure we were going to be doing in-vitro. I was so sure that the week before I found out I'm pregnant, I had my clinic get a prior authorization for IVF from my insurance company. I'm so happy not to be using that.
Please wish us luck, and if you might remember us in your prayers, we would appreciate it so much!