The anxiety begins again. Okay, so it never ended in the first place. We had our IUI yesterday. I managed to give myself my trigger shot on Monday night, and I was very proud of myself. We did a 36 hour IUI, and I hope that it works this time. It's hard being disappointed.
I still don't understand how three out of the four girls in my family have infertility issues. My mom never had problems and could turn her baby maker on and off with a switch. Then Rachel has to have an IUI to get pregnant (and had the baby, too), but lost her first natural pregnancy. Eve had a healthy successful pregnancy the first go around, got pregnant again only six months after Erick was born, and proceeded to have two miscarriages. She's in her second trimester w/ pregnancy #4 thanks to progesterone supplements. What the heck?
I'm just tired of being obsessed about getting pregnant. No one wants to hear about fertile cervical fluid or what position my cervix was in today. No one wants to hear about how painful my IUIs are, or about the pit in my stomach when I think about this one failing, too. Well, I take it back. The people who care about me don't mind listening, I suppose. But I'm sure it must be annoying for me to talk about all the time, but it's all I can think about! Mothers think about their children constantly, right? Infertile women do, too. But we can't talk about what our babies did today or how much they've grown. We can only talk about how many follicles we have to trigger this month, and what are our chances with this month's post-wash count?
Anyway, enough about that. I'm rambling, but of course I won't stop thinking about it. I've started another Felted Rose Handbag. I think I'm going to sell this one when I finish it. It's so hard to part with my finished projects when they go to strangers. Maybe I will feel better about it when I get money for them. I am also planning a knitted project, but I need to buy the right sized circular needles. I'm still a beginner knitter, so I haven't worked on circulars before. I hope that it will come easy to me. I'm not working from a pattern for this project, though, so hopefully it won't fail miserably. Well, I should go to bed now. I haven't been getting nearly enough sleep, and I'm dead tired.